"In the dark times, will there also be singing? Yes, there will be singing about the dark times." - Brecht

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Pinoy Weekly

Minsan, Eraserheads

Napanaginipan ko sila noong nakaraang linggo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Sa panaginip, pumasok ako sa isang lumang bahay na gawa sa kahoy. Kulay orange ang ilaw. Nadatnan ko sa unang palapag si Ely Buendia. Sa ikalawa, si Buddy Zabala. Sa panghuling palapag, nakatanguan si Raimund Marasigan. Hindi ko maintindihan – hindi naman ako excited sa papalapit noong konsiyerto nila. Hindi ko naisip na manood. Pero nasa panaginip ko sila – maliban na lamang kay Marcus Adoro, ewan ko kung bakit – na ibig sabihi’y nasa laylayan ng kamalayan ko ang Eraserheads.

Siyempre, napanood at nabasa ko ang hinggil sa mga nangyari sa konsiyerto. Nakita ko sa telebisyon ang fans. Nakakuwentuhan ang mga kakilalang nanood. Parang reunion, sabi ng isa, hindi lang ng banda kundi ng isang henerasyon. May mga trabaho na, ang iba may pamilya na (dalawang kuwento mula sa konsiyerto: ang isang kakilala, si E, kasama ang asawa at mga kaedad na magpipinsan; ang isa pang kakilala, si J, pinambili ng tiket nilang mag-asawa ang perang dapat gagamitin sa bakuna ng anak). Kaya nang bumili ng relatibong mamahaling tiket. Kung dati, nang mga estudyante pa lamang kami, nagkakasya na sa hiraman ng tapes at pagpuslit papasok sa UP Fair, ngayon, kahit papaano, napagbibigyan na ang hilig. Better late than never.

Reunion nga, at wala ako doon. Sayang. Binalikan ko sa mp3 ang musika ng Eraserheads. Mula sa ultraelectromagneticpop! hanggang sa Carbon Stereoxide. Nasa Circus pa lamang ako – pasakay ng MRT tatlong araw na ang nakararaan – nang bumulaga sa akin ang realisasyon: Oo nga pala, fan nga pala ako nila. Kinalimutan ko na. Naalala ko ang isang kaibigan noong 1995, galit na galit siya sa Eraserheads, nakokornihan, at naiinis sa mga freshmen na ang unang tanong sa kanya’y kung saan makikita ang pinakasikat na banda ng UP. Para mapanatili ang pagkakaibigan, hindi na namin pinag-uusapan ang Eraserheads. Mas gusto raw niya ang Yano. Noong tagal, nahumaling kay Cynthia Alexander.

Pero fan nga pala ako. Parang kinimkim na emosyong bumulwak mula sa akin ang realisasyong ito pagdating ko sa kantang Minsan. Nasa masikip na tren ng MRT ako. Naluha ako. At hindi lang dahil tulad ng persona sa kanta, minsan akong tumira sa Kalayaan Residence Hall. Naluha ako dahil naalala ko ang panahong ito, ang pagkabata, ang pagkamulat. Taong 1994-95, sariwang sariwa, mula sa probinsiya. Wide-eyed freshie na tuwang tuwa na nakatuntong ng UP. Mababaw ang kaligayahan. Sangkatutak ang insecurities. Tinatagyawat. Kahit noon, nagtataka na ako sa kantang ito: Para naman yata ambilis tumanda ng mga ito. Nagno-nostalgia trip, para namang dekada na mula nang umalis sila ng pamantasan.

Pero kinausap ako ng kantang ito. At ng iba pa nilang kanta. Wishing Wells, Alapaap, kahit Huling El Bimbo – panay pagbabalik sa nakaraan ng persona. Pinaalala ng mga ito kung paano ako mag-isip noong panahong iyon, kung paano ko dinamdam ang mga kaganapan sa buhay. Naluha ako dahil naramdaman ko ang paglipas ng panahon. Naramdaman kong tumanda na ako, at nagbago na ang pananaw ko sa mundo. Naging seryoso ang mga pinagkakaabalahan: pulitika, pagsusulat, sining, aktibismo. Nakalulungkot na kinailangang kalimutan ko ang payak at simplistikong mundo ng pagkabata para maging pulitikal na tao. Naluha ako sa paglipas ng panahon, sa henerasyon ko at sa trivial, maliit, makitid na mundo nito.

Basahin nang buo:

http://krguda.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/minsan-eraserheads/

Posted by: kr.guda at 06:18 | link | comments

A pessimist's poem

A nice Rilke poem. Para sa mga negatron.

To Say Before Going to Sleep

I would like to sing someone to sleep,
have someone sit by and be with.
I would like to cradle you and softly sing,
be your companion while you sleep or wake.
I would like to be the only person
in the house who knew: the night outside was cold.
And would like to listen to you
and outside to the world and to the woods.

The clocks are striking, calling to each other,
and one can see right to the edge of time.
Outside the house, a strange man is afoot
and a strange dog barks, wakened from his sleep.
Beyond that there is silence.

My eyes rest upon your face wide-open;
and they hold you gently, letting you go
when something in the dark begins to move.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Posted by: kr.guda at 18:20 | link | comments

Digging up a half-burnt body in Labrador, Pangasinan

Just came back from the exhumation of an unidentified cadaver of a female in Labrador, Pangasinan. It is the same body that Linda Cadapan, mother of missing student activist Sherlyn, suspects may be that of her missing daughter’s. The trip lasted for four hours from Manila to Labrador, a small town north of Lingayen. It is one of those rows of houses you may pass by in Pangasinan on your way to Baguio. The folks were certainly surprised at the sudden attention given to their small town today. As our convoy of vehicles rolled onto their streets, the Labrador people lined up the sidewalks, curiously delighted, as if some sudden good fortune had befallen their sleepy town. Vehicles from two television stations followed, piquing the locals’ interest even further.

Read further:

Reportage etc.

Posted by: kr.guda at 16:27 | link | comments (1)

What Comes To Your Mind When You Hear The Word "Woman"?

What a way to celebrate Women's Month.

I received a rather indignant email from Karl recently regarding a film premiere in the UP Film Institute in celebration of the Women's Month. On March 8, which is the International Women's Day, and the very day the women under Gabriela march from Welcome Rotonda to Plaza Miranda to denounce fellow-woman President Arroyo's supposed anti-women policies, the UP Film Institute is scheduled to premiere "Seksing Pinay."

The film, which is a montage of deleted / censored film splices of sex scenes from various films, is labeled a "welcome twist" to the Women's Month celebration, says the institute's media release. It says further:

"Narrated by Roy Alvarez, the unique big-screen engagement weaves together deleted footage from films topbilled by bold stars spanning three decades to examine the phenomenon of sex in the movies and the depiction of women in sex-oriented roles. Project director is Armando Reyes with consultant Cesar Aquino and editing supervisor Jeff de Vera. Screening is strictly for mature audiences. "

Karl, who is also a fledging filmmaker and was once at odds with some of the Film Institute's officials over his thesis defense (it had nothing to do with the Institute; the officials were panelists in his thesis defense), likened "Seksing Pinay" to "Sex in Philippine Cinemas", which came out commercially on DVD sometime last year. I saw bits of the latter myself (a copy of it was lying around in a place I was staying around last year) -- "Sex in Philippine Cinemas" is likewise a montage of sex scenes from various films. They were not deleted or sensored scenes; just sex scenes.

Although its title sounds a bit like that of an academic paper (I half-expected a subtitle that reads: "A scholarly look at sex in cinema..." or something), the DVD is obviously made to titillate. Bold flicks during the 70s and the TF (Titillating films) during the 90s did just that, but at least they bothered to lace the sex with corny plots (e.g., a film called "Itlog" had an egg factory as its setting). "Sex in Philippine Cinema", as well as "Seksing Pinay", I presume gets rid of the plots and gets down to the business of titillating.

TFs and bold flicks were said to have thrived during repressive periods -- horny people were less likely to be involved in politics and activism than sexually-mature ones. "Seksing Pinay" seems to be right along that grand old tradition of selling sex in movies. I do not have to say what an insult it is to women that such a film -- if that indeed is what I assume it to be, for there is a slim chance it might really be an academic treatise on sex in cinema after all  -- will be shown on Women's Day itself.

Posted by: kr.guda at 13:30 | link | comments (1)

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